Yesterday my friend Shannon, treated me to a wonderful afternoon of conversation and the new Michael Jackson movie, This Is It. I have to say, it was AMAZING! I did not know that he was planning a big Final Curtain Tour and had 50 sold out shows beginning in June or July 2009 (sorry, Stephen Colbert does politics, not entertainment news). This movie was the footage he had taped of his rehearsals for this tour. OMG, I have never seen male dancers as buff and cut as his dancers were! They looked like John Cena or Arnold Schwartzeneggar (in Terminator). They were fantastic! Usually dancers are skinny, with muscular definition, but these guys had huge biceps and the way they moved was unbelievable! I felt sorry for them, here they had this opportunity to go on tour with MICHAEL JACKSON and they were 2 weeks away from opening night when he died. So sad.
I've always admired MJ and the way he sang and danced, but when I saw this movie, I saw a passion, a real GIFT that I didn't realize he had. Despite his surgeries, (and the fact that every time I see him, I get this image of a cartoon made of him on South Park where he lost his nose), I never would have thought he was 50. He had very smooth, white skin and he still danced like when he made the Thriller album. His signature croons, his spirit fingers, and his famous crotch grab were in almost every song. Every person in this production had nothing but admiration for him.
His costume designers, who were making him a dazzling new lighted glove for the Beat It song. They said that this costume had so much BLING that the seamstresses had to wear sunglasses while they sewed, otherwise they were blinded by the light refraction! Technology today is so advanced, and with MJ's resources there was no end to the sets, videos and choreography in this production. This movie was well worth the $7 or so it cost. I would have had a yard sale to make $200 to buy a ticket to see it LIVE! You could feel the excitement of the performers, as we watched them on screen. It was awesome and inspirational!
He had this lady guitarist that was incredible! She was blonde and cute and she played electric guitar like Jimmy Hendrix! Michael also made mini movies to go along with his performance on stage. He redid Thriller in 3D and I couldn't believe the special effects! Towards the end of the song, this Ginormous black widow spider crept out on stage amidst smoke, curling and whisping across the stage. This spider got center stage and lifted up to reveal Michael, dressed as a zombie! Can you imagine?
He also dubbed himself into an old Humphrey Bolgart movie for Smooth Criminal. He had a new song about saving the earth and made this video about how we are destroying our planet and how we need to make a difference TODAY, and not wait for someone else to do it. That song, inspired me to write to you today. Several years ago, Haley Joe Osmet and many other stars made the movie Pay It Forward, being a self- professed movie critic, I give both of these movies 5 stars! Shannon, reminds me to pay it forward everyday with the kind things she does for me, my family and other people in her neighborhood. She is an inspiration to me. I try to pay it forward too, despite my shortcomings and health issues. If I can do nothing else, I am a good friend and listener to anyone who smiles in my direction. Every one of you has something special to offer the world and I just want to remind you to use your gifts for the greater good of mankind. They say that a butterfly can flap it's wings and cause a Tsunami on the other side of the world. This is a reminder, that the simplest act of kindness and generosity can effect so many others, and in this chaotic world we live in, we need to take a chance, overcome our fears and reach out to others in need. Some people don't realize what they may need, and if we take time and are perceptive, we can make a difference. Remember the golden rule, "Do Unto Others as You Would Have Them Do Unto You." I promise you that if you pay it forward, the rewards you receive will be insurmountable. I'm attaching a few of videos by Billy Gilman. He is an incredible young singer with a voice like no other. These videos are over 10 years old, but their messages transcend time. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do. Thanks for taking a minute to read my email, and please remember to pay it forward everyday!
God bless you real good. Hugs, Shellie
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPouj2SrM4w One Voice Billy Gilman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bFoAN8ekgw What's Forever For Billy Gilman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtjeFlSzGv8 There's a Hero Billy Gilman
This is just cute! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ceaLH8WmZ2E The Snake Song Billy Gilman
Most of these songs are from his cd One Voice, I've had it for a long time, but my new friendship with YouTube reacquainted me with my ol' favorites. I hope they become some of your favorites too.
Check out my other blog:
http://clearlythemostcreativescrapbookers.blogspot.com/
Friday, October 30, 2009
The Tween Years
My oh my, but kids today have so much DRAMA in their lives. I have 5 kids, who are all in the throes of puberty in one way or another. I have two drama queens, that just rotate their little drama scenes. One minute one is crying and as soon as she stops the other one starts. Everyday is something dramatic that is just ruining their lives. Usually it has something to do with us, parents, who expect them to do some chores and help out around the house. We are the worst parents in the world (according to them) because we yell at them if they don't help out. Yelling is NOT our first reaction, it is just the final straw! OMG, they think they have it so rough when we ask them to do one chore! It's getting infuriating. Last night one of them was just screaming and crying because she wouldn't help clean up the kitchen counter and she kept fighting with her sister. They fought and fought and we warned them to stop, and they kept on and on. Finally we told them to be quiet and sit down to write 10 nice things about one another. This just caused more chaos, and they would say that there was NOTHING nice about the other person, so we added more sentences because they would not STOP complaining and crying and screaming at us.
We asked one to quit crying and she said she WOULD NOT quit until the police came to take us away because we were so mean! That was it, I sat her down and read this poem, I received on the internet the other day, it was PERFECT in this situation...enjoy!
Poem to MOM
My son came home from school one day,
With a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough,
To put me in my place..
'Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that's taught by Mr. Wright?
It's all about the laws today,
The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'
It says I need not clean my room,
Don't have to cut my hair
No one can tell me what to think,
Or speak, or what to wear.
I have freedom from religion,
And regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head,
And I sure don't have to pray.
I can wear earrings if I want,
And pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
Get tattoos from head to toe.
And if you ever spank me,
I'll charge you with a crime.
I'll back up all my charges,
With the marks on my behind.
Don't you ever touch me,
My body's only for my use,
Not for your hugs and kisses,
that's just more child abuse.
Don't preach about your morals,
Like your Mama did to you.
That's nothing more than mind control,
And it's illegal too!
Mom, I have these children's rights,
So you can't influence me,
Or I'll call Children's Services Division,
Better known as C.S.D.'
Mom's Reply and Thoughts
Of course my first instinct was
To toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach him a lesson
Made me think a little more.
I mulled it over carefully,
I couldn't let this go.
A smile crept upon my face,
he's messing with a pro.
Next day I took him shopping
At the local Goodwill Store.
I told him, 'Pick out all you want,
there's shirts & pants galore..
I've called and checked with C.S.D ...
Who said they didn't care
If I bought you K-Mart shoes
Instead of those Nike Airs.
I've canceled that appointment
To take your driver's test.
The C..S.D. Is unconcerned
So I'll decide what's best. '
I said 'No time to stop and eat,
Or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn
To make your own sack lunch.
Just save the raging appetite,
And wait till dinner time.
We're having liver and onions,
A favorite dish of mine.'
He asked 'Can I please rent a movie,
To watch on my VCR?'
'Sorry, but I sold your TV,
For new tires on my car.
I also rented out your room,
You'll take the couch instead.
The C .S.D.. Requires
Just a roof over your head.
Your clothing won't be trendy now,
I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get,
Will buy me something neat.
I'm selling off your jet ski,
Dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights',
It's in effect today!
Hey hot shot, are you crying,
Why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out,
Instead of C.S.D..?'
MOM (Mean Old Mother)
Isn't that wonderful? Unfortunately, my dd who is brilliant, is incapable of understanding anything when she is hysterical. She just looked at me and said I don't get it! While the other daughter said, WOW, that was interesting. The one that got it, wrote her sentences quietly, while the other one just expressed how mean we were, and that she hated her life and wanted to be an only child. Then she said that the only way that could happen is if we killed all her brother and sisters! Luckily, in her delirious state she also said, then you would go to jail and no one could take care of me, so I guess that won't happen! Oh, snap, she was finally able to reason, while under duress! It was a miracle! My kids are very smart, sometimes too smart for their own good. It is so frustrating when she gets upset because she brings up everything and the kitchen sink and does not understand that her own behavior is causing the problem. She believes that there is nothing wrong with telling her parents NO! Well, we are determined to change that! It's been 8 hours since the incident and she still won't write her sentences. DH who was FURIOUS with her, said, "Hey, don't worry about it, remember the poem you read to her? She may think she has won this battle, but WE WILL WIN THIS WAR! Just wait until Halloween, she does not have to TRICK OR TREAT!" He's right! I am so glad that I'm not a single parent, and have support at home. The way I feel, I need all the support I can get, when dealing with the kids. I know that I would not be able to do anything without the constant love and support from GOD and my wonderful husband!
Soo, that's how my day ended, but this is how it began...
My son came home from school and said that he was freaking out because of something he said to his girl friend. She said all was good, but he felt bad and started freaking out (his words). I asked him if he needed a hug, and he did, so I scooted over in the bed and let him sit down. Then I gave him a hug and he started to cry.
Mind you, I have been ruing this day for several months. He fell in love, hard for this adorable girl. A year ago, his best friend and our brother from another mother, went out with her. It was a short relationship, they met online playing World of Warcraft. No big deal, they went to different schools and lived in separate towns and did not see each other much so they broke up. A few months later, my son started to bring her over, go to lunch with her and spend more time with her. I asked him if they were going out and he denied it,saying they were just friends. The months wore on and I noticed she was getting more flirtatious with him. A couple of months later he admitted that they were finally a couple. Woo Hoo! Touchdown, he was so happy, and I have seen him hurt by a couple of other girls and he was devastated by it. I prayed that the day when they broke up would not come, knowing that it would eventually. The strange thing is, that they still see each other. He takes her to school, out to lunch, does her math homework..."There are hearts breaking all over the world tonight because that man is 100% in love with her," (quote from Top Gun). She is supposedly seeing some new guy who is a friend of her cousin, but he lives in Seattle and she has only seen him once. How serious could this new relationship be? Something seems a little bit off.
Yesterday I posted the song Unanswered Prayers on my facebook page. I wrote a little blurb about how this song really helped me through a difficult time in my life. You pray and hope and wish for one outcome, only it never comes to pass. Growing older and wiser, you eventually realize the bigger picture and how that one outcome may have changed your life forever. I believe that we all have a path chosen for us and eventually we will get there, but because of free choice and all, it may take us our entire life to reach that final destination. I shared this video with my son, and I'm not sure if he took it to heart or not. I also told him my own experiences with the loss of someone you love. Many moons ago I was head over heels for this one guy, we went out for a long time and I knew we were soul mates, destined to be together, but we broke up and I was devastated. I was so angry, immature and hurt that the night we broke up I called this older guy who had a crush on me. I went out with him the next day. Dumb, dumb, dumb, I was trying to make myself feel better since I was rejected. This did not work. Wherever we went together it reminded me of my first love and it just upset me even more. We eventually broke up too, and I immersed myself in college and eventually met another guy. A few months later, my first love came back to me and I turned him down. To this day I don't know what I was thinking. I do know that now, I'm married to another man, not my FIRST love, but another love and my life is totally different then I ever expected it to be. I have 5 wonderful kids and a husband who supports me in whatever I do and encourages me through these trying times. I would not change a thing, if I had gotten back together with my first love I would not have had these children. It's weird, when I get really upset, sometimes I dream of my first love, there is a bond there, and there always will be. I still talk to him occasionally and exchange Christmas cards with his parents each year, but it is just cordial, keeping in touch, nothing more...but I digress, lost in reminiscion...
I tried to explain to my son that I knew he was destined for greatness and that this one event could change his life forever. It was up to him, which path to go on. I tried to reason with him, that if he quit seeing her, even though it would hurt him, it might make her appreciate and miss him, and maybe she would come back to him. I reminded him of the ol' saying, "If you love something set it free..." I don't know if he listened to me, or just heard me, but I did my best to comfort and console him. The video of unanswered prayers was done to the video game Final Fantasy, he is a huge gamer and plays World of Warcraft all the time. So, when I shared Garth Brooks video, it reminded him of some WOW videos. We spent the next hour amazed and laughing at some of the videos people had made. One was a WOW version of Abbot and Costello's Who's on First routine, it was hysterical. As time passed, his tears dried and I told him that the best thing he could do was to keep busy and hang out with his friends. When you are busy, you don't have time to dwell on your problems. He has a WOW tournament today, that will keep him busy, and he also has a DR appointment, so he will keep busy. Earlier this week he told me that he wanted to see the DR because he was feeling so depressed, so I made him an appointment. I thank GOD that my son and his friends feel comfortable enough with me, to share there most intimate concerns and feelings. We have a couple of his friends stay over at least 3-4 nights each week. The kids are messy, but they are here, where I can keep an eye on them, and they are comfortable here. I am also thankful that I'm not on pain medicine anymore, and can pay more attention to what is going on with the kids. My husband is the player, and takes the kids on outdoor adventures (I don't like the outdoors except at the beach), but I do the indoor adventures. We make a good team, him and I.
Thanks for reading this post, I hope it gave you a little hope and/or inspiration today. Please check back again, to continue with the total action drama at our very, very, very nice house! Shellie out....
We asked one to quit crying and she said she WOULD NOT quit until the police came to take us away because we were so mean! That was it, I sat her down and read this poem, I received on the internet the other day, it was PERFECT in this situation...enjoy!
Poem to MOM
My son came home from school one day,
With a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough,
To put me in my place..
'Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that's taught by Mr. Wright?
It's all about the laws today,
The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'
It says I need not clean my room,
Don't have to cut my hair
No one can tell me what to think,
Or speak, or what to wear.
I have freedom from religion,
And regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head,
And I sure don't have to pray.
I can wear earrings if I want,
And pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
Get tattoos from head to toe.
And if you ever spank me,
I'll charge you with a crime.
I'll back up all my charges,
With the marks on my behind.
Don't you ever touch me,
My body's only for my use,
Not for your hugs and kisses,
that's just more child abuse.
Don't preach about your morals,
Like your Mama did to you.
That's nothing more than mind control,
And it's illegal too!
Mom, I have these children's rights,
So you can't influence me,
Or I'll call Children's Services Division,
Better known as C.S.D.'
Mom's Reply and Thoughts
Of course my first instinct was
To toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach him a lesson
Made me think a little more.
I mulled it over carefully,
I couldn't let this go.
A smile crept upon my face,
he's messing with a pro.
Next day I took him shopping
At the local Goodwill Store.
I told him, 'Pick out all you want,
there's shirts & pants galore..
I've called and checked with C.S.D ...
Who said they didn't care
If I bought you K-Mart shoes
Instead of those Nike Airs.
I've canceled that appointment
To take your driver's test.
The C..S.D. Is unconcerned
So I'll decide what's best. '
I said 'No time to stop and eat,
Or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn
To make your own sack lunch.
Just save the raging appetite,
And wait till dinner time.
We're having liver and onions,
A favorite dish of mine.'
He asked 'Can I please rent a movie,
To watch on my VCR?'
'Sorry, but I sold your TV,
For new tires on my car.
I also rented out your room,
You'll take the couch instead.
The C .S.D.. Requires
Just a roof over your head.
Your clothing won't be trendy now,
I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get,
Will buy me something neat.
I'm selling off your jet ski,
Dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights',
It's in effect today!
Hey hot shot, are you crying,
Why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out,
Instead of C.S.D..?'
MOM (Mean Old Mother)
Isn't that wonderful? Unfortunately, my dd who is brilliant, is incapable of understanding anything when she is hysterical. She just looked at me and said I don't get it! While the other daughter said, WOW, that was interesting. The one that got it, wrote her sentences quietly, while the other one just expressed how mean we were, and that she hated her life and wanted to be an only child. Then she said that the only way that could happen is if we killed all her brother and sisters! Luckily, in her delirious state she also said, then you would go to jail and no one could take care of me, so I guess that won't happen! Oh, snap, she was finally able to reason, while under duress! It was a miracle! My kids are very smart, sometimes too smart for their own good. It is so frustrating when she gets upset because she brings up everything and the kitchen sink and does not understand that her own behavior is causing the problem. She believes that there is nothing wrong with telling her parents NO! Well, we are determined to change that! It's been 8 hours since the incident and she still won't write her sentences. DH who was FURIOUS with her, said, "Hey, don't worry about it, remember the poem you read to her? She may think she has won this battle, but WE WILL WIN THIS WAR! Just wait until Halloween, she does not have to TRICK OR TREAT!" He's right! I am so glad that I'm not a single parent, and have support at home. The way I feel, I need all the support I can get, when dealing with the kids. I know that I would not be able to do anything without the constant love and support from GOD and my wonderful husband!
Soo, that's how my day ended, but this is how it began...
My son came home from school and said that he was freaking out because of something he said to his girl friend. She said all was good, but he felt bad and started freaking out (his words). I asked him if he needed a hug, and he did, so I scooted over in the bed and let him sit down. Then I gave him a hug and he started to cry.
Mind you, I have been ruing this day for several months. He fell in love, hard for this adorable girl. A year ago, his best friend and our brother from another mother, went out with her. It was a short relationship, they met online playing World of Warcraft. No big deal, they went to different schools and lived in separate towns and did not see each other much so they broke up. A few months later, my son started to bring her over, go to lunch with her and spend more time with her. I asked him if they were going out and he denied it,saying they were just friends. The months wore on and I noticed she was getting more flirtatious with him. A couple of months later he admitted that they were finally a couple. Woo Hoo! Touchdown, he was so happy, and I have seen him hurt by a couple of other girls and he was devastated by it. I prayed that the day when they broke up would not come, knowing that it would eventually. The strange thing is, that they still see each other. He takes her to school, out to lunch, does her math homework..."There are hearts breaking all over the world tonight because that man is 100% in love with her," (quote from Top Gun). She is supposedly seeing some new guy who is a friend of her cousin, but he lives in Seattle and she has only seen him once. How serious could this new relationship be? Something seems a little bit off.
Yesterday I posted the song Unanswered Prayers on my facebook page. I wrote a little blurb about how this song really helped me through a difficult time in my life. You pray and hope and wish for one outcome, only it never comes to pass. Growing older and wiser, you eventually realize the bigger picture and how that one outcome may have changed your life forever. I believe that we all have a path chosen for us and eventually we will get there, but because of free choice and all, it may take us our entire life to reach that final destination. I shared this video with my son, and I'm not sure if he took it to heart or not. I also told him my own experiences with the loss of someone you love. Many moons ago I was head over heels for this one guy, we went out for a long time and I knew we were soul mates, destined to be together, but we broke up and I was devastated. I was so angry, immature and hurt that the night we broke up I called this older guy who had a crush on me. I went out with him the next day. Dumb, dumb, dumb, I was trying to make myself feel better since I was rejected. This did not work. Wherever we went together it reminded me of my first love and it just upset me even more. We eventually broke up too, and I immersed myself in college and eventually met another guy. A few months later, my first love came back to me and I turned him down. To this day I don't know what I was thinking. I do know that now, I'm married to another man, not my FIRST love, but another love and my life is totally different then I ever expected it to be. I have 5 wonderful kids and a husband who supports me in whatever I do and encourages me through these trying times. I would not change a thing, if I had gotten back together with my first love I would not have had these children. It's weird, when I get really upset, sometimes I dream of my first love, there is a bond there, and there always will be. I still talk to him occasionally and exchange Christmas cards with his parents each year, but it is just cordial, keeping in touch, nothing more...but I digress, lost in reminiscion...
I tried to explain to my son that I knew he was destined for greatness and that this one event could change his life forever. It was up to him, which path to go on. I tried to reason with him, that if he quit seeing her, even though it would hurt him, it might make her appreciate and miss him, and maybe she would come back to him. I reminded him of the ol' saying, "If you love something set it free..." I don't know if he listened to me, or just heard me, but I did my best to comfort and console him. The video of unanswered prayers was done to the video game Final Fantasy, he is a huge gamer and plays World of Warcraft all the time. So, when I shared Garth Brooks video, it reminded him of some WOW videos. We spent the next hour amazed and laughing at some of the videos people had made. One was a WOW version of Abbot and Costello's Who's on First routine, it was hysterical. As time passed, his tears dried and I told him that the best thing he could do was to keep busy and hang out with his friends. When you are busy, you don't have time to dwell on your problems. He has a WOW tournament today, that will keep him busy, and he also has a DR appointment, so he will keep busy. Earlier this week he told me that he wanted to see the DR because he was feeling so depressed, so I made him an appointment. I thank GOD that my son and his friends feel comfortable enough with me, to share there most intimate concerns and feelings. We have a couple of his friends stay over at least 3-4 nights each week. The kids are messy, but they are here, where I can keep an eye on them, and they are comfortable here. I am also thankful that I'm not on pain medicine anymore, and can pay more attention to what is going on with the kids. My husband is the player, and takes the kids on outdoor adventures (I don't like the outdoors except at the beach), but I do the indoor adventures. We make a good team, him and I.
Thanks for reading this post, I hope it gave you a little hope and/or inspiration today. Please check back again, to continue with the total action drama at our very, very, very nice house! Shellie out....
New Doctor Today
Good morning, I don't know where the week went. I have been off on which day of the week it was, all week. On Tuesday I thought it was Monday and on Thursday I thought it was Wednesday. It's frustrating because I thought that since I was off of pain medicine that my short term memory loss would go away, but it hasn't. I have also noticed that I suffer from SSDD syndrome (same s**t, different day). That wasn't too surprising though, considering what I'm going through.
This past week I am still having those restless feelings, and as the day wears on, it gets progressively worse. I am really NOT thrilled about seeing a new doctor, but I am looking forward to meeting him, and hearing his take on all of my problems. I found out that his office is only 3 blocks from my house! NICE! If I could walk, I would. It is so close! So we will talk about my medicines and then do a quick pre-op appointment for Virginia Mason. I need to remember to call VM and ask them to fax over the pre-op papers to fill out (hoping that by typing this reminder I will remember it).
My right knee is getting progressively worse. It hurts so much that by the end of the day all I can do is cry. Last night I had to go downstairs because I asked dd to get me some round tins and she came upstairs 5 different times, with 5 different tins - none of which were round and white. I needed this particular tin to make some Pokeballs. I have 2 friends who have requested Pokemon tins and I have made them before, to look like pokeballs and they turned out great! I need to finish them and mail them off, so I had to have the tins. Anyway, as I was coming back upstairs, I could hardly make it. It was soooo painful! It took me a long time and I felt so old. God bless my little dog Shadow, he paitently waits behind me (like my shadow)until I can make it upstairs. He's so sweet! Monday, my dr from VM called and said that the next time I come to Seattle, he would schedule and MRI of my knee. I am going to ask my new local doc to schedule it in town and then whichever appointment happens first I will go to. I'm hoping to save some time, but we will see what happens.
I'll post later what happens at the doctor today! God bless you for sharing this journey with me.
This past week I am still having those restless feelings, and as the day wears on, it gets progressively worse. I am really NOT thrilled about seeing a new doctor, but I am looking forward to meeting him, and hearing his take on all of my problems. I found out that his office is only 3 blocks from my house! NICE! If I could walk, I would. It is so close! So we will talk about my medicines and then do a quick pre-op appointment for Virginia Mason. I need to remember to call VM and ask them to fax over the pre-op papers to fill out (hoping that by typing this reminder I will remember it).
My right knee is getting progressively worse. It hurts so much that by the end of the day all I can do is cry. Last night I had to go downstairs because I asked dd to get me some round tins and she came upstairs 5 different times, with 5 different tins - none of which were round and white. I needed this particular tin to make some Pokeballs. I have 2 friends who have requested Pokemon tins and I have made them before, to look like pokeballs and they turned out great! I need to finish them and mail them off, so I had to have the tins. Anyway, as I was coming back upstairs, I could hardly make it. It was soooo painful! It took me a long time and I felt so old. God bless my little dog Shadow, he paitently waits behind me (like my shadow)until I can make it upstairs. He's so sweet! Monday, my dr from VM called and said that the next time I come to Seattle, he would schedule and MRI of my knee. I am going to ask my new local doc to schedule it in town and then whichever appointment happens first I will go to. I'm hoping to save some time, but we will see what happens.
I'll post later what happens at the doctor today! God bless you for sharing this journey with me.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Medical History - Strange but True
OK, I finally made an appointment to see my new doctor. I have to, for pre-op for my next 2 surgeries and I need to talk to him about my blood pressure. My pain specialist gave me a patch RX to wear, to help with my pins and needles feeling go away. Unfortunately, even on double the dose I still feel on edge and by the end of the day my legs twitch uncontrollably. The RX could drop my blood pressure and I'm already on blood pressure medicine, so I really have to watch it. So far, so good though, I haven't noticed that side effect. So, I thought I should go over my medical history, a synopsis, just to help him out. I really doubt he will take the time to read my 3" thick medical file before he sees me for 10 minutes next week.
So here it goes...
Surgeries:
Gastric bypass
Right Nephrectomy (kidney removal)
Bladder Sling
Hysterectomy
Lithotripsy (water blast kidney stones) (4 times)
Hydroplasia (bladder enlargement, to help with interstitial cystitis) (2 times)
Lateral Release left knee (cut in the muscle to release the kneecap from pulling)
Rhizotomy in right and left low back (burning of the nerves to alleviate pain)
Gall Bladder removal
Cyst removal left foot
Bunion Surgery and cyst removal left foot
Removal of hardware in left foot and placement of pins left foot
Removal of pins and placement of external fixator left foot
Removal of external fixator and placement of a plate left foot
Removal of seismoid bones, bone graft, removal of old plate an screws, addition of
new plate and screws left foot
Removal of old plate again to repair broken joint, addition of 2 screws and bone graft to help promote healing left foot
Upcoming: Nerve resection left foot
Hydroplasia
*possible spinal chord stimulator trial, after these surgeries if still having pain
Medical Issues:
Lots of allergies to RX drugs (Penicillan, Cephalexin, Rocefin, Sulpha, Amitryptaline, Tagaderm, Syn Visc, Nubain, Nalfon)
High Blood Pressure
Restless Leg Syndrome
Interstitial Cystitis
Fybromyalgia
Sleep Apnea and Diabetes (in remission since bypass Woo-Hoo)
Nueropathy
Asthma
Irritable Bowel Syndrome
Gastroparesis
Insomnia
Hypotonic Bladder
Anemia
Complications that have arisen from past surgeries...Take note! This could happen to you too! Beware! Get informed!
Gastroparesis - After my gall bladder slowed down to a halt and caused me excruciating pain for a while it was removed. I still have pain, up underneath my right ribs, sometimes it's unbearable. My gastroenterologist at Virginia Mason thinks that maybe I have some risidual sludge in my ducts that need to be cleaned out. With my surgical travesties he is not in any hurry to do this. After I start getting injections in my spine, this pain begins to go away, maybe it was just nerves. I don't know, but here is what happened after my gall bladder went KAPUT!
Several months after this surgery, I started to throw up several times a day. My food was not digesting and would come back out after I ate. It took 2 years and several tests and doctors later, before a young intern finally diagnosed me with gastroparesis. First my gall bladder, now my stomach, had quit working. The muscle was not contracting and couldn't push my food through to be digested. So the food just backed up in my stomach until it came out. They said I had 2 choices. They could fit me with a gastric pacemaker, to stimulate muscle contractions, OR I could get a gastric bypass to shrink the stomach so that the muscle was smaller and could contract easier. They did not want to do the pacemaker because it would affect x-ray's, MRI's and many other tests that I may need in my future. At this particular time I had diabetes, high blood pressure and several other problems. I was on 17 different prescriptons! We decided that the bypass would help with my other issues, so that was the better option. Simple, 3 days at the most in the hospital and then I'd be home, but recovery would be 6 weeks or more. I was teaching first grade and decided to get the surgery before Thanksgiving, so that I would be off through Christmas and back for the new year. Yeah, that didn't happen.
I went in for the surgery, and in the middle of the night some of my staples popped. I was in so much pain. They took me in for some tests and realized the problem immediately,and they rushed me back into surgery. I ended up in the Intensive Care unit for 17 days, in Seattle, away from my family. I missed Thanksgiving. My mom, bless her heart, stayed with me the entire time. It must have been hard on her too. I know this past year when my oldest daughter had to go to the hospital and get a catheter in for a week it was really hard on me! She was in so much pain, and there was nothing I could do. I had never felt so helpless in my life. I thought I was a pretty strong person, until that happened. Of course I was dealing with my own problems too, but still, it made me feel so awful! I don't ever want to see my kids suffer again. It's too painful.
Anyway, after the 17 days, and then a couple more weeks in general hospital population they sent me home, with 2 drains coming out of my stomach to help relieve the pressure in my stomach from the complications that arose from the staples that popped. I thank God that I don't remember that entire month. There are several days that are seared in my mind, I won't go into more details, but it was a very unpleasant experience. I did have a group of interns that were fantastic though. They tested me and treated me for a month, and nursed me back to life. They were so determined to get me well. I know that my mom sent them a couple of gift baskets and cards as a thank you. My recovery was way more than 6 weeks, but I'm alive, and very grateful to the providers at Virginia Mason, who worked together to fix me up. They truly deserve the award they recieved for being one of the top 5%best hospitals in our nation. Everyone there works together for the good of the patient, and they are not self serving or controlled by HMO garbage, or if they are, I have not seen that. I recommend Virgina Mason to anyone suffering from an ailment that is not improving. Please, take time for a second opinion, it's important for your own health and self-preservation.
Bladder sling - caused my bladder to be hypotensive. It quit contracting (notice any patterns - several organs slowing down to a halt). The bladder sling also changed the angle of my ureters that lead to my kidneys. After this surgery, I was completely unable to go to the bathroom (pee) on my own. After 9 weeks, they taught me how to catheterize myself. I still have to do this 3-4 times each day. When the surgery changed the angle of my ureters, I began having reflux back into my kidneys. The constant catheterization caused many urinary tract infections which quickly became kidney infections as the infected urine backed up into my kidneys. I was hospitalized 6 times the first year after my bladder sling. The constant pylonephritis (kidney infections) caused my right kidney to shrink and quit producing eurethropointen. This poor kidney hurt constantly, as it was repeatly refilled with urine. It HURT all the time! Eventually I was hospitalized for a liver problem and during this 10 day stay I missed my high school reunion and a cruise to Canada, and at the end of the stay they removed my poor little kidney. My back pain went away! Now I just have to worry about getting another kidney stone in my left kidney, if it is not taken care of immediately I could end up on dialysis.
Watch Out! Before you have a bladder sling, have a procedure called urodynamic testing. This is a very embarrasing and uncomfortable test (I had it twice, getting a second opinion on why I could no longer go pee without catheterizing), but it is also very informative. I was told that I should never have had a bladder sling put in without this test. The test would have revealed my hypotonic bladder and given pause, I may have reconsidered this surgery. Now I'm told that if I have the bladder sling reversed, I will not only begin to leak again, but my bladder still would not go back to normal. I will have to catheterize for the rest of my life now. I am finally able to void a little on my own, but my bladder doesn't empty completely without a catheter and now I have interstitial cystitis which is when your body quits producing the lining in your bladder (another pattern - no more production of fluids). Whenever my bladder starts to fill I get excruciating cramps in it and the urine just eats away at my bladder wall until I get it out of my body. This is another unbearably uncomfortable problem, but it is not connected with the hypotonic bladder, just another fun issue to deal with.
Bunionectomy - This has been really fun, one seeminly simple procedure has caused a miriad of problems from which have stemmed 6 more foot surgeries in attempt to fix the problem that arose from the first surgery. To begin with I had a cyst on my left foot. My local podiatrist injected it with cortisone, in attempt to shrink it. A week later, it hurt like crazy. He decided to remove it. So I had my first foot surgery on my left foot to remove a cyst. A few weeks after the surgery the cyst came back. It's located below my ankle, and when I wear shoes, it puts pressure on the cyst. So he looked at it again and decided to remove it a second time. I also had a bunion on my big left toe (I also have one on the right, but we aren't addressing that). We decided to remove the bunion at the same time he removed the cyst. So I went in, late December for this second surgery on my left foot. The plan was to have the surgery during Christmas break and then go back to work, teaching first grade early January. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to work since the second surgery...that was in 2005.
For some unknown reason, when the podiatrist removed the excess bone from my big left toe, straightened out the toe and held it in place with a screw, my body had a massive rejection. Several weeks after the bunionectomy my foot still hurt like crazy. The doctor said that some people have a rejection of the screw because it is a foreign body. So we scheduled a third foot surgery to remove the screw and hopefully eliminate my pain. What a surprise it was to wake up from surgery and find 3" pins sticking out of my foot! Turns out, that the screw was so foreign in my body that it actually disintigrated my bone! My toe lost about 1/2" of bone! When the bone disintigrated at the base of my big toe, there was nothing to hold that bone to the metatarsals below. So all of those bones broke too. So my podiatrist put the pins into my foot, to hold the bones together while they healed. A week after the surgery and for several weeks later, I would go to see my podiatrist, he would take an x-ray and he reassured me that my bones were healing. I kept telling him that my foot hurt even more, but he just reassured me even more that the x-rays showed everything to be normal. He never showed me the x-rays. This was after my bladder sling and while I was suffering from my bladder/kidney problems. I had started to go to a specialist at Virginia Mason in Seattle, WA about my bladder and kidneys. On the way to one of these appointments, I called to see if I could also see an orthopedist about my foot. Luckily I could. I went to see an orthopedist after my kidney specialist. He immediately took x-rays and showed them to me. Boy was I shocked to see that the pins had slipped through my bones and several of the bones had moved and were laying criss cross over each other in my poor foot. How could my podiatrist in Yakima tell me all looked good, when this was going on? I never went back to the podiatrist in Yakima. I pray that my orthopedist doesn't retire before he fixes me foot.
So I'm scheduled for my fourth foot surgery, to remove the pins. Then he packs bone graft in between the broken bones to promote healing and adds an external fixator to the outside of my foot. I have 2 huge screws sticking out of the right side of my left foot now. My toe has shrunk an inch! Twice a day, I'm supposed to turn this wrench that I attach to a screw on the external fixator. This should pull the bone apart ever so slightly, in hopes of relengthening my toe. New bone is supposed to fill in as the screw moves ever so slightly each day. Good theory, but I only regained 3.8mm of length by the time my new orthopedist determined that the new screws were irritating my foot too much since they too were a foregin body. So back to surgery I went again, but this time I actually left in a cast! He put a plate and several screws over my fragile toe bones to hold them together. These five surgeries kept me in a wheelchair for about 9 months. Then I slowly was able to try and walk...again. Not normally however. The two cyst surgeries left a lot of scar tissue below my ankle. Now I have some entrapped nerves on the left side of my foot, and a plate on the right side of my left foot. It is very difficult to walk and any pressure on those nerves sends shocking pain up through my toes. I am forced to wear slippers or nothing at all, to help relieve the pain from walking.
This causes problems with my knees (not new problems, just more active problems).
I'm told by 2 different doctors that I have arthritis in my knees and my body has quit producing the joint juice that prevents your kneecap from rubbing against the bones below it. They say I will need knee replacements, but I'm too young. One gives me a leg brace and says, quit using stairs for the rest of your life to save your knees. He hopes that the brace will prevent my knee from moving and allow it time to heal and hopefully start reproducing that vital fluid that prevents my knees from grinding. At one point I had this full leg brace, a cast on my left foot and an I.V. (midline) put into my arm so that I could give myself an I.V. at home to help me get rid of another kidney infection. I was beginning to be a mess. By the time I got my external fixator, I gave up on the full leg brace. I wasn't walking anyway. Eventually I went back to Virginia Mason and that doctor started giving me cortisone injections first, then later syn visc injections in my knees, hoping to stimulate the rebuilding of fluid around my knees. Spring 2009 I had an allergic reaction to the syn visc. My knees tripled in size and I could not walk, it hurt so much. I went to the local ER and they said that only an orthopedist could drain my knees and that one was not available for me. They advised me to go home and wait until the swelling went down on it's own. Yakima dr.s are SO SMART (NOT)! An allergic reaction like that does not go away on its own. Syn visc injections take a 3 week time frame. Same time, each week, you go in for a shot for three weeks. The following week we went back to Seattle for my scheduled injection. The doctor took one look at me and said I was having an allergic reaction and that we would not use syn visc anymore. He drained both knees and injected them with cortisone to help decrease the swelling. I felt much better after that, but now I wonder, how much longer can I use these poor knees without the syn visc. It actually decreased the grinding and swelling for a while. We'll deal with the knees a little more later. For now, they will just grind and swell like before, while I deal with my foot some more.
A year after my 5th left foot surgery, I was still having a lot of pain in that big toe joint and in those entrapped nerves on my left foot. My doctor said, he would not do anything until it had been at least a year post my last surgery. He did x-ray my foot one afternoon and found that the screws in my toe were loose and so the plate was moving, which is what was causing my pain. I also had a lot of pain below my big toe on the pad of my foot. So back for surgery number 6. This time to add more bone grafts, add a special formed plate to my bone, and new screws, and remove the seismoid bones below my big toe, to help alleviate the pain in the padding of my foot.
Of course, the entrapped nerves are still a problem and the new plate is non-flexible. It was specially formed to fit over the bone of the big left toe. Unfortunately, my big left toe was not "normal" since it shrunk 1" and the joint was not healing properly. So, as I healed and began to walk again, when I walked, the tip of my toe would bend just enough to hit this new plate causing more pain when walking. I've had shoes made with special soles to help me walk, I've bought expensive tennis shoes that did not have a seam where my big toe joint was, so I didn't have extra pressure on this area, yet I still could not wear them very often because the entrapped nerves were so painful. I'm sent to a pain specialist in Yakima(finally) to help me figure out how to get off of the pain medicine I've been on for almost 5 years now. It takes 8 months to get in! Once I'm in, I find out that I have arthritis in my back, fibromyalgia and a degenerative spinal disorder.I'm not even 40 and already I've shrunk one inch! This is getting ridiculous! After several x-rays, a nerve conduction study, an MRI, a consult with a Neurologist and a Psychiatrist I find out that I may be a candidate for a spinal chord stimulator trial. They would attach a battery pack and lead wires to nerves along my spine to send little impulses to my brain before pain signals can reach my brain. They think this may help my entrapped nerves. But it may not work either. With my history, I need to realize that it may not help at all. I'm told that I need to get off of or reduce the amount of pain medicine I'm on before we can consider this procdure anyway. No worries, not to wild about this one, especially since it is in my spine! I'm afraid it could paralyze me, and look for an alternative. In the meantime my arthritis of the spine is addressed and I have several medial branch blocks to try and lubricate the sheaths around my inflammed nerves along my spine. Eventually I have a rhizotomy on the left and right low back. This burns the nerves temporarily (about a year)so that the feelings they carried disappear. This was another very uncomfortable procedure, but it worked, and my low back pain is gone. Now if I could get the burning pain out of my neck and stop my arms and legs from going numb while I sit, stand or lie in certain positions I will be on my way to recovery! Right? Yeah, right!
That brings us up to my most recent foot surgery, number 8. My orthopedist had me do a bone scan of my left foot. It is supposed to "light up" any problems that I'm having as my bones are healing. The plate in my foot really hurts! The bone scan reveals that my big toe joint is disjoined once again...broken underneath this plate. So we go back for another surgery to remove the old plate, add more bone graft and put in 2 more screws to hold this joint together. It's been 9 weeks since that surgery. I'm finally walking again, but now my right knee has torn cartilidge in it and I have bursitis in my right hip making it very painful to stand or walk even short distances. I am off of pain medicine, but my pain specialist said he would rather have my orthopedist try and remove the entrapped nerves to stop the pain, rather than try and put a bandaid (temporary fix) on it with a spinal chord stimulator. The nerve resection does not sound fun and may not eliminate my pain, but I'd rather risk my foot than my spine. So, I'm waiting for the nerve resection to be scheduled. This time, my orthopedist will open my foot, find the entrapped nerves, follow the nerves up until they are healthy, go a little above the healthy nerve and cut out the entrapped part. Then he will drill holes into my bone and stuff the nerves into the holes so that they don't regrow back together and leave me with the same problem. Again, I won't be able to walk, but I hope it will resolve the pain of walking and wearing shoes. If not, I guess I can try the spinal chord stimulator, but that will be a way off. Besides, the worst is over, right?
Not sure about my right knee. My knee orthopedist will probably send me for an MRI to confirm that the cartilidge is torn. Then, he may try to remove the broken cartilidge, if I'm in too much pain, but he really doesn't want to leave me helpless and in a wheelchair. That's a nice sentiment, but my goal is to eliminate as much pain as I can. Without pain medicine I am living on Alleve or Advil and just waiting for my liver to fail again. If they can't fix what the problem is, I don't know that I can live with this pain, it is so painful to walk or bend that right knee...will these problems never end?
Friday, October 23, 2009
An interesting week....
I hope this finds you happy and well. I'm still feeling like I'm on pins and needles. I went to the doctor on Tuesday to see my pain specialist. He told me some interesting things and I've learned a bit this past week...
I could suffer withdrawal symptoms for up to 4 months
I am coming off of two different medications which both blocked different receptors in my brain
ALL of my nerves are in end, giving me a pins and needles sensation in my arms and legs and other parts - it's driving me crazy!
I love to listen to 80's music! (actually I already knew that one)
I've torn the cartilage in my right knee
I have bursitis in my right hip
I will be scheduling a nerve resection on my left foot in about a week
I have a bladder extension surgery scheduled for mid November
My kids care more about each other than I thought
It's better to fix your problem, rather than just patch it up and go on to the next
(I already knew that too)
This past week was really busy too...
Monday - two dr. appointments in Seattle.
Tuesday - Brittney got a UTI and had to stay home so we went to my pain specialist and then to her pediatrician
Wednesday - I went back to the pain specialist for a shot in my hip and Amanda jumped off of some stairs at school and twisted her ankle, it is sprained pretty bad. I can hardly walk, but I tried my best to help her get in the house and to the bathroom. She fell, on me and pushed me back. My finger got smashed between her body and the door frame. It HURTS so bad! It's already bruised and swollen below my second knuckle and the bottom joint on my index finger. Not much I can do except ice it, it hurts typing!
Thursday - Codey got sick with a headache and a stomach ache and had to stay home.
Friday - my first day alone all week. I made 2 more Jacob's ladder books!
Now it's Saturday and I've spent the morning reorganizing my Snapfish photos. I have so many pictures to sort and then scrap. I have a lot ahead of me...
Sunday - Family coming over to celebrate Amanda, Brittney and Codey's birthdays, and then we will watch Bragging Rights Wrestling PPV! Go John Cena! He had better beat Randy Orton tomorrow!
Anyway, earlier I stated that the kids care more about each other than I thought they did. As siblings, they fight a LOT. Mostly it's my tweens. Nick pretty much keeps to himself. Setting a good example, if his brothers and sisters pay attention. Codey pits Amanda against Brittney or Brittney against Amanda. Casey picks on Codey and so on down the pecking order. The just pick, at the littlest things and it gets so irritating. For better or worse, most of the time I just ignore them and try to let them work their problems out together. Sometimes I need to intervene, and I do, but a lot of the time they act like they really would rather be ONLY children. The grass is always greener on the other side...or so they think...anyway, when Amanda hurt her ankle, everyone stepped up to help her out. They get things for her, help her get around, dote on her, especially her sister Brittney. It kinda upset me by Friday, because here I am with a cast on the left, a knee brace on the right, using a cane, and hugging the walls to get to and fro, and I can't even get these Rugrats to get me a glass of water, yet they are waiting on Amanda hand and foot! I'm sure I don't help my cause by getting up and working around the house a little, but I can't just sit around and watch the world go by either. I've always pushed myself. My mom says that I invite my own problems, and maybe I do, in some cases, but not all. Now that I am feeling a little stronger, I'm raring to go, mentally, now I just need my body to follow my mind AND my kids to mind what I say.
This morning I caught the rest of Live at Gothem, from Comedy Central, hosted by Bobby Lee. I fell asleep last night during the comedian performances (see, I'm starting to get a little better - but I wake up about 2 or 3 in the morning and stay awake for the day). This guy sounded like he was a part of our family. He was talking about how his wife was upset with him because he wasn't a strict disciplinarian. She always told the kids NO, and he always said YES. He reasoned that he was trying to groom the kids to be salesmen when they get older, so it wasn't good to take no for an answer! Funny but sad...then he went on to talk about how his oldest was getting ready for college. Everyone has been telling him to save for college. He shared that he hadn't even finished paying off his own student loans, let alone be ready to take on a new student loan! I had to laugh at that too, that's where we are! We paid off Scott's loans years ago! Me, I have my BA and MA still to pay for! Medical bills are killing us. Yesterday I got a bill and the doctor charged me $307 per knee to inject it with synvysc.! Then another $150 to drain each knee from the swelling! Come on! Procedures are so expensive. Every visit just nickle and dimes us to death! Not to mention the price of prescriptions too! Anyway, it felt good to wake up an laugh a little. Laughter is the best medicine!
I could suffer withdrawal symptoms for up to 4 months
I am coming off of two different medications which both blocked different receptors in my brain
ALL of my nerves are in end, giving me a pins and needles sensation in my arms and legs and other parts - it's driving me crazy!
I love to listen to 80's music! (actually I already knew that one)
I've torn the cartilage in my right knee
I have bursitis in my right hip
I will be scheduling a nerve resection on my left foot in about a week
I have a bladder extension surgery scheduled for mid November
My kids care more about each other than I thought
It's better to fix your problem, rather than just patch it up and go on to the next
(I already knew that too)
This past week was really busy too...
Monday - two dr. appointments in Seattle.
Tuesday - Brittney got a UTI and had to stay home so we went to my pain specialist and then to her pediatrician
Wednesday - I went back to the pain specialist for a shot in my hip and Amanda jumped off of some stairs at school and twisted her ankle, it is sprained pretty bad. I can hardly walk, but I tried my best to help her get in the house and to the bathroom. She fell, on me and pushed me back. My finger got smashed between her body and the door frame. It HURTS so bad! It's already bruised and swollen below my second knuckle and the bottom joint on my index finger. Not much I can do except ice it, it hurts typing!
Thursday - Codey got sick with a headache and a stomach ache and had to stay home.
Friday - my first day alone all week. I made 2 more Jacob's ladder books!
Now it's Saturday and I've spent the morning reorganizing my Snapfish photos. I have so many pictures to sort and then scrap. I have a lot ahead of me...
Sunday - Family coming over to celebrate Amanda, Brittney and Codey's birthdays, and then we will watch Bragging Rights Wrestling PPV! Go John Cena! He had better beat Randy Orton tomorrow!
Anyway, earlier I stated that the kids care more about each other than I thought they did. As siblings, they fight a LOT. Mostly it's my tweens. Nick pretty much keeps to himself. Setting a good example, if his brothers and sisters pay attention. Codey pits Amanda against Brittney or Brittney against Amanda. Casey picks on Codey and so on down the pecking order. The just pick, at the littlest things and it gets so irritating. For better or worse, most of the time I just ignore them and try to let them work their problems out together. Sometimes I need to intervene, and I do, but a lot of the time they act like they really would rather be ONLY children. The grass is always greener on the other side...or so they think...anyway, when Amanda hurt her ankle, everyone stepped up to help her out. They get things for her, help her get around, dote on her, especially her sister Brittney. It kinda upset me by Friday, because here I am with a cast on the left, a knee brace on the right, using a cane, and hugging the walls to get to and fro, and I can't even get these Rugrats to get me a glass of water, yet they are waiting on Amanda hand and foot! I'm sure I don't help my cause by getting up and working around the house a little, but I can't just sit around and watch the world go by either. I've always pushed myself. My mom says that I invite my own problems, and maybe I do, in some cases, but not all. Now that I am feeling a little stronger, I'm raring to go, mentally, now I just need my body to follow my mind AND my kids to mind what I say.
This morning I caught the rest of Live at Gothem, from Comedy Central, hosted by Bobby Lee. I fell asleep last night during the comedian performances (see, I'm starting to get a little better - but I wake up about 2 or 3 in the morning and stay awake for the day). This guy sounded like he was a part of our family. He was talking about how his wife was upset with him because he wasn't a strict disciplinarian. She always told the kids NO, and he always said YES. He reasoned that he was trying to groom the kids to be salesmen when they get older, so it wasn't good to take no for an answer! Funny but sad...then he went on to talk about how his oldest was getting ready for college. Everyone has been telling him to save for college. He shared that he hadn't even finished paying off his own student loans, let alone be ready to take on a new student loan! I had to laugh at that too, that's where we are! We paid off Scott's loans years ago! Me, I have my BA and MA still to pay for! Medical bills are killing us. Yesterday I got a bill and the doctor charged me $307 per knee to inject it with synvysc.! Then another $150 to drain each knee from the swelling! Come on! Procedures are so expensive. Every visit just nickle and dimes us to death! Not to mention the price of prescriptions too! Anyway, it felt good to wake up an laugh a little. Laughter is the best medicine!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Another trip to Seattle
Yesterday, I had 2 appointments in Seattle to see my orthopedists about my foot and my knee. We left early Monday morning, leaving behind 2 unhappy girls who wanted to get out of school and join us on our trip. I just survived a weekend of 2 birthday/slumber parties; we are broke and exhausted. We have taken them with us in the past, the girls, especially my youngest is very helpful when we go. She holds my hand and tries to comfort me while I get injections in my knees and feet. My husband is wonderful and supportive, but he hates hospitals. He hates doctors. He does love me though and will take me to Seattle, just for a change of scenery. My doctors are at Virginia Mason Hospital. I have been to the UW Hospital and the Swedish Hospital in Seattle, but I prefer Virginia Mason (sorry UW - my favorite University- we are HUGE Husky fans and bleed purple blood in my family). They had a huge banner when I walked into the pavilion that read "Top 5% in the nation, for healthcare." TRUE! Every specialist I have seen, has been up, on the latest treatments, and they all work together, to find you the best treatment for your ailments. Their only downfall, is that they are in Seattle, 2 1/2 hours away AND you have to pay to park! I think that is the most ridiculous thing ever, pay to go and park to see a doctor! Come on! Things are so expensive already, can't they recoup that cost somewhere else? When we went yesterday, the doctor was behind schedule, we were there from 11:15 to 2:00. I absolutely love the staff, they know me so well since I've been going there so long, they did give us an all day pass for free parking! That helps, even a little. I saw my doctor for about 15 minutes. He felt my foot and said, let's put you in a walking cast, I'll see you in 4 weeks. I talked to him, briefly about the entrapped nerves in my left foot. I want him to remove the entrapped nerves, but he does not really want to. It's a tedious surgery that requires him to open my foot, find the entrapped nerves, follow the nerves to point where they are not so aggravated and sever them. Then he takes the severed nerve, drills a hole in my bone and stuffs the nerve in the bone, so it won't regrow together. Sounds like fun huh? He is very skeptical about doing this, mostly because it may not fix my problem - pain. The entrapped nerves are from a cyst I had several years ago...
In 2003 I started getting problems with my feet. It started with Plantar's Faciatis. This causes the tendon on the bottom of your foot to shrink. When you go to walk, it is excruciatingly painful. Every step causes extreme pain in your heel as you walk. I had shots in my heel, and spent lots of time soaking my feet in ice water to numb the pain. I took a trip to Disneyworld at this time and it was very memorable, especially since the pain was seared into me during the trip. The more you walk, the better this condition gets, but whenever you quit walking, the first few steps are just excruciating! You can imagine my trip, long lines, humidity and torrential rain. We would start to walk and just as the pain started to subside we would have to stop, and wait in line, or RUN to get out of the rain. I new there were hurricanes in Florida, I knew it was hot in Floriday, but I didn't know how humid it was, or that they had torrential rainstorms that last 40 days and nights according to the concierge in our hotel. Anyway, that was spring 2003. In the Fall of 2004, I got this cyst on the left side of my left foot, just a little below my ankle. My local podiatrist injected it with cortisone, trying to shrink it. A week after he injected it, it hurt like crazy. So I went back, hardly able to walk, let alone put a shoe on, and he decided to remove it. So I had a surgery to remove the cyst. Unfortunately, a month after the surgery, the cyst came back! It was so painful, I had to go back to the podiatrist. So we had another surgery to remove it AGAIN, and at that surgery he also fixed the bunion on my left foot, or rather removed the bunion and broke my left foot, but that's another story. So I had this cyst injected and removed twice, and then scar tissue built up in that site, entrapping the nerves. The slightest touch to that site causes a searing pain that shoots up my foot. It is uncomfortable to wear socks and unbearable to wear shoes. So I wear slippers, which is not the best footwear, especially in the snow and rain. You can see why I want this problem to go away, it interferes with my walking, and my quality of life, as I try to raise 5 kids!
Anyway, tomorrow I have an appointment with my pain specialist in Yakima (finally, someone in Yakima who knows what they are doing). The pain specialist has been waiting for me to get off of my pain meds so that he can do a spinal chord stimulator trial, to see if this would stop the pain from the entrapped nerves. Personally, I would rather have my foot operated on, than my spine, but my orthopedist in Seattle thinks that the stimulator is a better bet for pain management, because he does not think that the nerve removal will be successful. I would rather try on my foot and if that fails, then work on pain management via the spine. Tomorrow I'll find out, what my pain specialist thinks. The final WORD, lies with him, if he thinks we should try to fix the nerves first we will do that surgery, otherwise I'll see my VA doc back in 4 weeks.
Two o'clock and one more appointment in Issaquah at 3:00. We had enough time to sit down and share a bite to eat before I went to the other orthopedist about my knee. So I was put into a walking cast and given permission to walk (which I had already been doing out of necessity). Off to Issaquah we went...
Ok, here's a little background on my knees. Growing up I was a swimmer, gymnast and cheerleader. In high school, I started having problems with my knees. I had arthoscopic surgeries to see what was wrong and a lateral realease on my left knee ( (they cut the muscle on the side of my knee, to release my kneecap which was being pulled out of place by the muscle). So I have had problems in the past. Several years ago my knees started to hurt and grind. Every step I took caused this scritching sound, totally audible to everyone. I went to a local doctor and he told me that my body wasn't producing the fluid to help my bones slide easily over one another as I walked. Without this fluid, the kneecap just grinds over my knee. He gave me a full leg brace on the left, thinking that if I did not use my knee, it might regenerate itself naturally. Then he advised me to NEVER use stairs for the rest of my life (RIGHT, we had just bought our first two-story house and all of my scrapbooking stuff was downstairs)! I thought he was crazy, he said there was nothing else he could do for me, so I went to Virginia Mason for another opinion. The doctor at VA took an MRI and agreed that I had arthritis in my knees and no longer produced the fluid which caused the grinding in my knees. He said that I would need knee replacements, but I was too young, so we needed to try something else to get me by. First he tried cortisone shots, then synvisc injections. The last synvisc injections caused an allergic reaction and both my knees swelled up so big that I couldn't walk. My knees had to be drained, and now I don't have very many options except knee replacement which he does not want to do because it won't last forever and will need to be done more than once before I die. So, I've been nursing my knees along, wearing braces to help decrease the strain of the grind, but now I have another problem...
Last week, my kneecap on my right leg started popping out of place. Sound like fun? Not really, if my knee bends more than 45 degrees, it catches and pops out, and HURTS! I started wearing my brace to try and hold it in place, but it still hurts, constantly. So I have this cast on my left foot and my right knee keeps popping out of place, the fibromyalgia is excruciating in my right hip and now I'm starting to get pain in the middle of my low back again (I should NOT have any pain in my low back since I had a rhizotomy on both sides a few months ago - this is a NOT so fun procedure in which they burn the nerves off in one area, to alleviate the pain. No nerves, no pain, right? You're nerves eventually grow back, but it should take a year). So my knee is killing me and I can't wait to see what he says, but I have an idea - my prediction is arthroscopic surgery to see what is popping out and repair something to hold it in place.
As I limp into the office and start sweating from the pain, the nurse says, "Oh, my. Just look at you, don't you have a cane?" Me? A cane? I'm not even 40! I don't have a cane! So she brings me in a cane. That thrills me, as you can imagine!
The doctor comes in, and of course when he checks my knee it doesn't pop! I was shocked, I knew it popped, I felt it, I heard it, but of course it would not do it when the doctor was around! He watched me limp around the room. Then he told me that maybe I should be in a wheelchair for a while. He thinks that I have torn the cartilidge in my knee. The fix - surgery, which he doesn't really want to do since I can't use my other leg very well, but he will if I'm in too much pain. He gave me a cortisone shot, a new, more supportive knee brace and sent me off. I'm supposed to call him on Friday and if things haven't improved, he will do an MRI and then decide what to do next. So I limp out of his office, pain shooting down my right arm, from my elbow to the middle of my hand (fibromyalgia I think), so my arm is shaking as I hold the cane and I'm sweating even more from the pain of the shot. I look like I'm 80 years old all hunched over and limping along. My husband said I looked way worse than when I went in. Finally, time to rest and contemplate this new situation. It's a two and a half hour drive home, and I cry for two hours from pain and frustration...tomorrow I see the pain specialist, I'm hoping for a better outcome.
In 2003 I started getting problems with my feet. It started with Plantar's Faciatis. This causes the tendon on the bottom of your foot to shrink. When you go to walk, it is excruciatingly painful. Every step causes extreme pain in your heel as you walk. I had shots in my heel, and spent lots of time soaking my feet in ice water to numb the pain. I took a trip to Disneyworld at this time and it was very memorable, especially since the pain was seared into me during the trip. The more you walk, the better this condition gets, but whenever you quit walking, the first few steps are just excruciating! You can imagine my trip, long lines, humidity and torrential rain. We would start to walk and just as the pain started to subside we would have to stop, and wait in line, or RUN to get out of the rain. I new there were hurricanes in Florida, I knew it was hot in Floriday, but I didn't know how humid it was, or that they had torrential rainstorms that last 40 days and nights according to the concierge in our hotel. Anyway, that was spring 2003. In the Fall of 2004, I got this cyst on the left side of my left foot, just a little below my ankle. My local podiatrist injected it with cortisone, trying to shrink it. A week after he injected it, it hurt like crazy. So I went back, hardly able to walk, let alone put a shoe on, and he decided to remove it. So I had a surgery to remove the cyst. Unfortunately, a month after the surgery, the cyst came back! It was so painful, I had to go back to the podiatrist. So we had another surgery to remove it AGAIN, and at that surgery he also fixed the bunion on my left foot, or rather removed the bunion and broke my left foot, but that's another story. So I had this cyst injected and removed twice, and then scar tissue built up in that site, entrapping the nerves. The slightest touch to that site causes a searing pain that shoots up my foot. It is uncomfortable to wear socks and unbearable to wear shoes. So I wear slippers, which is not the best footwear, especially in the snow and rain. You can see why I want this problem to go away, it interferes with my walking, and my quality of life, as I try to raise 5 kids!
Anyway, tomorrow I have an appointment with my pain specialist in Yakima (finally, someone in Yakima who knows what they are doing). The pain specialist has been waiting for me to get off of my pain meds so that he can do a spinal chord stimulator trial, to see if this would stop the pain from the entrapped nerves. Personally, I would rather have my foot operated on, than my spine, but my orthopedist in Seattle thinks that the stimulator is a better bet for pain management, because he does not think that the nerve removal will be successful. I would rather try on my foot and if that fails, then work on pain management via the spine. Tomorrow I'll find out, what my pain specialist thinks. The final WORD, lies with him, if he thinks we should try to fix the nerves first we will do that surgery, otherwise I'll see my VA doc back in 4 weeks.
Two o'clock and one more appointment in Issaquah at 3:00. We had enough time to sit down and share a bite to eat before I went to the other orthopedist about my knee. So I was put into a walking cast and given permission to walk (which I had already been doing out of necessity). Off to Issaquah we went...
Ok, here's a little background on my knees. Growing up I was a swimmer, gymnast and cheerleader. In high school, I started having problems with my knees. I had arthoscopic surgeries to see what was wrong and a lateral realease on my left knee ( (they cut the muscle on the side of my knee, to release my kneecap which was being pulled out of place by the muscle). So I have had problems in the past. Several years ago my knees started to hurt and grind. Every step I took caused this scritching sound, totally audible to everyone. I went to a local doctor and he told me that my body wasn't producing the fluid to help my bones slide easily over one another as I walked. Without this fluid, the kneecap just grinds over my knee. He gave me a full leg brace on the left, thinking that if I did not use my knee, it might regenerate itself naturally. Then he advised me to NEVER use stairs for the rest of my life (RIGHT, we had just bought our first two-story house and all of my scrapbooking stuff was downstairs)! I thought he was crazy, he said there was nothing else he could do for me, so I went to Virginia Mason for another opinion. The doctor at VA took an MRI and agreed that I had arthritis in my knees and no longer produced the fluid which caused the grinding in my knees. He said that I would need knee replacements, but I was too young, so we needed to try something else to get me by. First he tried cortisone shots, then synvisc injections. The last synvisc injections caused an allergic reaction and both my knees swelled up so big that I couldn't walk. My knees had to be drained, and now I don't have very many options except knee replacement which he does not want to do because it won't last forever and will need to be done more than once before I die. So, I've been nursing my knees along, wearing braces to help decrease the strain of the grind, but now I have another problem...
Last week, my kneecap on my right leg started popping out of place. Sound like fun? Not really, if my knee bends more than 45 degrees, it catches and pops out, and HURTS! I started wearing my brace to try and hold it in place, but it still hurts, constantly. So I have this cast on my left foot and my right knee keeps popping out of place, the fibromyalgia is excruciating in my right hip and now I'm starting to get pain in the middle of my low back again (I should NOT have any pain in my low back since I had a rhizotomy on both sides a few months ago - this is a NOT so fun procedure in which they burn the nerves off in one area, to alleviate the pain. No nerves, no pain, right? You're nerves eventually grow back, but it should take a year). So my knee is killing me and I can't wait to see what he says, but I have an idea - my prediction is arthroscopic surgery to see what is popping out and repair something to hold it in place.
As I limp into the office and start sweating from the pain, the nurse says, "Oh, my. Just look at you, don't you have a cane?" Me? A cane? I'm not even 40! I don't have a cane! So she brings me in a cane. That thrills me, as you can imagine!
The doctor comes in, and of course when he checks my knee it doesn't pop! I was shocked, I knew it popped, I felt it, I heard it, but of course it would not do it when the doctor was around! He watched me limp around the room. Then he told me that maybe I should be in a wheelchair for a while. He thinks that I have torn the cartilidge in my knee. The fix - surgery, which he doesn't really want to do since I can't use my other leg very well, but he will if I'm in too much pain. He gave me a cortisone shot, a new, more supportive knee brace and sent me off. I'm supposed to call him on Friday and if things haven't improved, he will do an MRI and then decide what to do next. So I limp out of his office, pain shooting down my right arm, from my elbow to the middle of my hand (fibromyalgia I think), so my arm is shaking as I hold the cane and I'm sweating even more from the pain of the shot. I look like I'm 80 years old all hunched over and limping along. My husband said I looked way worse than when I went in. Finally, time to rest and contemplate this new situation. It's a two and a half hour drive home, and I cry for two hours from pain and frustration...tomorrow I see the pain specialist, I'm hoping for a better outcome.
I have survived!
Ok, I don't feel good physically, but mentally I feel like a champion again! This fibromyalgia is really kicking me in the butt! Since I'm not on pain meds anymore, I feel absolutely every ache and pain. A very good friend told me that with fibromyalgia, you should plan on doing half of what you used to do and EXPECT to accomplish only half of that. That would be only 1/4 of what you are used to. While on pain medicine, it is easy to push myself a little more. I did that, just trying to do what I used to. I remember a time when people thought of me as a superwoman! I was teaching full time, I had five kids all under the age of 10, we took them to sports, and I got my master's degree! I once, started a tutoring program, while teaching full time and raising 5 kids! Now, I do nothing, in comparison, EXCEPT...
people say, "You look really good." So, I guess my appearance has improved since I've started having health issues! I've always said, "It's better to look good, than to feel good..." quoting an old Saturday Night Live Character, so at least that is continuing to be true.
Anyway, I still haven't slept more than 6 hours since I quit taking pain medicine. For the past three days, everything I eat goes right through me. So, I'm getting physically drained, and when I get up, just walking a short distance leaves me sweaty and breathless. I need to rest for almost an hour just after going to the bathroom. So I'm not feeling like myself and....I have 2 slumber/birthday parties to give this weekend! My youngest daughters are the same age for 2 weeks every year. We always start, middle October, down a slippery slope of parties and holidays until the culmination of my niece's birthday and mine on the same day. We have a birthday on October 15th, 16th, October 26th, November 6th, December 25th and finally on January 2nd. In between are Halloween, Thanksgiving and of course Christmas. We also have a tradition of making gingerbread houses once school is out for winter break. So this week, I've been slowly climbing up a big, long slide and sitting at the top, ready to go down. That's my concern, the ups and downs I'm expecting during the next 3 months. If I were to pick a movie to represent my life, it would be Parenthood with Steve Martin, Keanu Reeves and many others. The final scenes of the movie show him, comparing his life with a roller coaster, the many ups and downs and thrills of the drops and twists leaving you a little sick and breathless. THAT IS MY LIFE! It's an adventure every day, but I would not change anything (except my health issues). I'm feeling lousy, and now I need to put on my game face and prepare for these parties.
In the past, I've always gone all out for parties. I make the cake, goody bags, decorate, plan games and activities...it takes a lot of time and energy. I'm not working, haven't since 2005, and am desperately waiting to get a hearing so that I can recieve social security disability, so having no money does not help when you have parties to give. The odds are stacked against me, but I show confidence in the face of adversity and trudge on with the spirit of the Gladiator!
I can honestly say that the kids have really learned several life skills, as I am able to do less and less, they get older and can do more for the family (they don't always do it, but they are capable of doing it). My youngest daughter, whose birthday is on the 16th, pretty much planned her entire party! In September, my second son had his birthday party. I handmade his invitations, and while I was stamping them, my youngest decided to make her invitations too. Her party was 2 months away, but she planned it all that night. She made invitations, drew a picture of what she wanted her cake to look like, planned games...I taught her well, she was only 9! I was very proud! So, my main job was to clean up the house and make the cakes. She made a list of what she needed for the party and I gave it to my Husband. A new Wal Mart Supercenter opened up the same week, just a mile from our house! My wonderful husband came home early Thursday, to facilitate the cleaning of the basement for the weekend. So I trusted him to do the downstairs, while I prepared the upstairs.
Unfortunately, when he cleaned downstairs, he brought about 6 loads of laundry upstairs. I always have at least 5 loads a day to do, and it's been taking me longer to do laundry since it's so hard to move, so things were getting daunting. I had the kitchen, bathrooms laundry and living room to clean before 2 slumber parties. I had to do as much as I could, and the kids were going to have to pick up the slack. By the grace of God, we got everything done before the party (except the laundry). The laundry was pushed into my room all over the floor, creating a lumpy terrain that was hazardous to my health, with a broken foot on the left and now, my kneecap popping out on my right leg (read about this fun in my next post). I spent most of the weekend out in the living room just for my own safety.
By the end of the weekend, we had 9 kids sleep over on Friday night, paint pumpkins, swak a pinata, bob for apples, play Apples to Apples, and watch Titanic (which they had been studying about in school). I made 1 ice cream cake, 1 white cake and 24 chocolate cupcakes. I did about 6 loads of laundry (see what I mean, I'm WAY behind). On Saturday we had 4 more kids go roller skating for 4 hours, spend the night, play Truth or Dare, jam out on Rock Band and play foosball. The best part of all was that I finally fell asleep! Over a week of insomnia slowly slipped away as I finally drifted off into 3 hours of peaceful slumber. God is so good! I have survived to live another day and continue on this roller coaster of adventure...
people say, "You look really good." So, I guess my appearance has improved since I've started having health issues! I've always said, "It's better to look good, than to feel good..." quoting an old Saturday Night Live Character, so at least that is continuing to be true.
Anyway, I still haven't slept more than 6 hours since I quit taking pain medicine. For the past three days, everything I eat goes right through me. So, I'm getting physically drained, and when I get up, just walking a short distance leaves me sweaty and breathless. I need to rest for almost an hour just after going to the bathroom. So I'm not feeling like myself and....I have 2 slumber/birthday parties to give this weekend! My youngest daughters are the same age for 2 weeks every year. We always start, middle October, down a slippery slope of parties and holidays until the culmination of my niece's birthday and mine on the same day. We have a birthday on October 15th, 16th, October 26th, November 6th, December 25th and finally on January 2nd. In between are Halloween, Thanksgiving and of course Christmas. We also have a tradition of making gingerbread houses once school is out for winter break. So this week, I've been slowly climbing up a big, long slide and sitting at the top, ready to go down. That's my concern, the ups and downs I'm expecting during the next 3 months. If I were to pick a movie to represent my life, it would be Parenthood with Steve Martin, Keanu Reeves and many others. The final scenes of the movie show him, comparing his life with a roller coaster, the many ups and downs and thrills of the drops and twists leaving you a little sick and breathless. THAT IS MY LIFE! It's an adventure every day, but I would not change anything (except my health issues). I'm feeling lousy, and now I need to put on my game face and prepare for these parties.
In the past, I've always gone all out for parties. I make the cake, goody bags, decorate, plan games and activities...it takes a lot of time and energy. I'm not working, haven't since 2005, and am desperately waiting to get a hearing so that I can recieve social security disability, so having no money does not help when you have parties to give. The odds are stacked against me, but I show confidence in the face of adversity and trudge on with the spirit of the Gladiator!
I can honestly say that the kids have really learned several life skills, as I am able to do less and less, they get older and can do more for the family (they don't always do it, but they are capable of doing it). My youngest daughter, whose birthday is on the 16th, pretty much planned her entire party! In September, my second son had his birthday party. I handmade his invitations, and while I was stamping them, my youngest decided to make her invitations too. Her party was 2 months away, but she planned it all that night. She made invitations, drew a picture of what she wanted her cake to look like, planned games...I taught her well, she was only 9! I was very proud! So, my main job was to clean up the house and make the cakes. She made a list of what she needed for the party and I gave it to my Husband. A new Wal Mart Supercenter opened up the same week, just a mile from our house! My wonderful husband came home early Thursday, to facilitate the cleaning of the basement for the weekend. So I trusted him to do the downstairs, while I prepared the upstairs.
Unfortunately, when he cleaned downstairs, he brought about 6 loads of laundry upstairs. I always have at least 5 loads a day to do, and it's been taking me longer to do laundry since it's so hard to move, so things were getting daunting. I had the kitchen, bathrooms laundry and living room to clean before 2 slumber parties. I had to do as much as I could, and the kids were going to have to pick up the slack. By the grace of God, we got everything done before the party (except the laundry). The laundry was pushed into my room all over the floor, creating a lumpy terrain that was hazardous to my health, with a broken foot on the left and now, my kneecap popping out on my right leg (read about this fun in my next post). I spent most of the weekend out in the living room just for my own safety.
By the end of the weekend, we had 9 kids sleep over on Friday night, paint pumpkins, swak a pinata, bob for apples, play Apples to Apples, and watch Titanic (which they had been studying about in school). I made 1 ice cream cake, 1 white cake and 24 chocolate cupcakes. I did about 6 loads of laundry (see what I mean, I'm WAY behind). On Saturday we had 4 more kids go roller skating for 4 hours, spend the night, play Truth or Dare, jam out on Rock Band and play foosball. The best part of all was that I finally fell asleep! Over a week of insomnia slowly slipped away as I finally drifted off into 3 hours of peaceful slumber. God is so good! I have survived to live another day and continue on this roller coaster of adventure...
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Restless days and nights...
Ok, it's now Thursday and I haven't been able to sleep since Sunday or was it Saturday? I can't remember since I haven't been sleeping. My body is so tired, but my mind is wide awake. I have been laying down, trying to get comfortable, but it's not working. I've tried Nyquil, Benadryl, Theraflu, warm milk, a bath and deep breathing, to no avail. I have been without my pain meds for almost two weeks. Unfortunately I am still in a lot of pain. I have fibromyalgia, as stated in my title, and was told that narcotics actually make fibro pain worse. In my personal experience, NOT! My right hip and lower leg are just throbbing, aching and hurting. My interstitial cystitis is also acting up. I had an appointment earlier this week and will be having hydrodialation as soon as it is scheduled, and my favorite nurse, Kim was able to squeeze me in for a DMSO treatment this week (which is a week earlier than scheduled).
Yesterday, I was able to get some new meds for my restless leg syndrome. Since I haven't been sleeping, my arms and legs are SO restless during the day and night. My feet twitch and my right knee has been popping out. OUCH! I have arthritis in both knees and was getting synvisc injections until I had an allergic reaction to the last one I got. Both my knees swolled up so much that I couldn't walk. I went to our local ER and they said that only an orthopedic doc could relieve the pressure in my knees and that was not their job in the ER. They said to go home and wait until the swelling went away on it's own. That's the problem when your specialists are in another city. No one locally wants to touch you. The price of gas is so high that it gets super expensive to go to an appointment in Seattle. Not to mention that you have to PAY for parking at the hospital in Seattle! That is just ludicrus to me. We pay enough for health care, and then they want us to pay for parking on top of that! It's crazy! Everyone wants money.
Ok, I've been laying down since 9:00 p.m. now it's 3:46 a.m. I feel very shaky and my body is exhausted, I just made myself a warm cup of cocoa with milk, hoping it will make me tired. I don't mind if I don't fall asleep right away though, Sweeney Todd just came on HBO. Johnny Depp is such a fantastic actor! I'll sit, enthralled, in awe and loving this musical despite it's terribly dark overtures. Every song is sung beautifully, and if you just listen to the music several songs are so romantic, while others are desperate and vengeful. His acting range is amazing! I recently saw a trailer for a new movie coming out, Alice in Wonderland, and Johnny Depp is playing the Mad Hatter. Every roll he undertakes is so unique, you can really see how talented he is, and easy on the eyes too. I think that some would call him eye candy! I could watch him all day. Another favorite actor of mine is Robert Downey Jr. I absolutely love his performance in Chances Are and in Charlie Chaplin. He was amazing in Charlie Chaplin. Yes, he struggled with his demons for several years, but he is now back on track and doing amazing work, once again. I am very excited to see his performance in Sherlock Holmes. His acting looks even better than in Charlie Chaplin (from what I've seen of the trailer). Well, I'm gonna sign off, and focus on my movie. I love musicals, especially when I scrapbook, they inspire me. Usually I listen to Chicago, Grease or Mama Mia. What inspires you?
Yesterday, I was able to get some new meds for my restless leg syndrome. Since I haven't been sleeping, my arms and legs are SO restless during the day and night. My feet twitch and my right knee has been popping out. OUCH! I have arthritis in both knees and was getting synvisc injections until I had an allergic reaction to the last one I got. Both my knees swolled up so much that I couldn't walk. I went to our local ER and they said that only an orthopedic doc could relieve the pressure in my knees and that was not their job in the ER. They said to go home and wait until the swelling went away on it's own. That's the problem when your specialists are in another city. No one locally wants to touch you. The price of gas is so high that it gets super expensive to go to an appointment in Seattle. Not to mention that you have to PAY for parking at the hospital in Seattle! That is just ludicrus to me. We pay enough for health care, and then they want us to pay for parking on top of that! It's crazy! Everyone wants money.
Ok, I've been laying down since 9:00 p.m. now it's 3:46 a.m. I feel very shaky and my body is exhausted, I just made myself a warm cup of cocoa with milk, hoping it will make me tired. I don't mind if I don't fall asleep right away though, Sweeney Todd just came on HBO. Johnny Depp is such a fantastic actor! I'll sit, enthralled, in awe and loving this musical despite it's terribly dark overtures. Every song is sung beautifully, and if you just listen to the music several songs are so romantic, while others are desperate and vengeful. His acting range is amazing! I recently saw a trailer for a new movie coming out, Alice in Wonderland, and Johnny Depp is playing the Mad Hatter. Every roll he undertakes is so unique, you can really see how talented he is, and easy on the eyes too. I think that some would call him eye candy! I could watch him all day. Another favorite actor of mine is Robert Downey Jr. I absolutely love his performance in Chances Are and in Charlie Chaplin. He was amazing in Charlie Chaplin. Yes, he struggled with his demons for several years, but he is now back on track and doing amazing work, once again. I am very excited to see his performance in Sherlock Holmes. His acting looks even better than in Charlie Chaplin (from what I've seen of the trailer). Well, I'm gonna sign off, and focus on my movie. I love musicals, especially when I scrapbook, they inspire me. Usually I listen to Chicago, Grease or Mama Mia. What inspires you?
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Finally pain medication FREE! and still in pain...
OK, my parents took dh and I on a cruise to Canada last week. The cruise was nice, very quiet compared to the normal high pitch tones of pre-teens and teens at my house. At every stairway and entrance into an area with food, they had someone there to squirt hand sanitizer on you. You couldn't get in without washing up first. Of course I had to take some pics of the hand sanitizer posts, because they were everywhere, like Starbucks!
I am still in a cast and unable to walk, so I was unable to leave the ship and go on a small boat (tender) to reach the mainland. It was ok, time alone, time to reflect and time to try and organize some of 3000 photos on my laptop.
I never left the ship until it was time to disembark, we played scattegories (and won), and I took 2 classes on scrapbooking. We also played visual trivia, which was fun. It was also nice to be away from constant cell phone calls. We left Yakima for Seattle, Monday September 28. The celebrity Mercury left port at 5:00 p.m. We got over 20 phone calls from the kids before we left shore! Which made the beginning of our trip uneasy at the least. I was worried sick....
The two weeks prior to our cruise, my oldest son got his first speeding ticket. My neice who offered to watch my mom's house and my two girls came down with the swine flu a week prior to departure. My youngest daughter was having major anxiety over me leaving and 2nd oldest daughter watched Titanic for the first time and got hysterical that we would even think about going on a ship. So, I spent a lot of the week before the trip putting out fires and calming kids down. God was definately with us, and everything was smooth sailing. I'd love to go on another cruise, but I'm not sure how to swing the cost with 5 kids. That will be another obstacle to overcome - finances...especially with unsurmountable medical bills.
Right before we were to leave on our cruise, I got a letter from my general practicioner and his office stating that he was no longer going to practice medicine at that facility and that my family had been put into a lottery, and another care giver had been assigned to us. I was in shock and disbelief! The Monday, prior to the letter, I had been to see my GP to fix my cast which had broken underneath my toes and provided no support for my poor little toes. After reading his letter, it sounded like it was a last minute decision. Still I was in shock and awe. Shocked because I trust him so much, he has been with me through all of my medical issues and complications. It is so hard to find someone whom you can trust in the medical field. Doctors are under the thumb of HMO's and the government and they work way too hard with their hands tied, so that they can't always treat patients the "best way" but the best way for the insurance companies. I admire his moral values, and the fact that he is standing up for himself and his patients rather than folding under the pressure of others. He is going to work out in the community and do some house calls, to help the needy. That is awesome! He is also working on a website, so that people can contact him with questions. You can bet, I've been bombarding him with questions; and I also get answers! Which is even better!
Unfortunately, even though I can talk to him, the state has not given him a new license so that he can prescribe medications. I got back from my cruise and had only 2 pain pills left. Since my doc had left, I couldn't ask him, I called our "new doctor" whom never returned my phone call, and I couldn't call my foot doctor in Seattle since he is on vacation. MY GP suggested I go to the ER, but I am really leary about that. They treat me like a drug seeker and I DON'T appreciate that. They don't know my medical history and if they did, then maybe they would be a little more compassionate. So, I have been off of my pain medication for almost a week now. I HATE withdrawel symptoms! I'm cold, irritable, tired, and anxious. The worst should be over, but who knows what is around the next bend.
It is horrible to be feeling anxious, skin crawling, irritable (from withdrawel) AND to have pain on top of it is just not my idea of fun. I have fibromyalgia in addition to many other issues, and was told that narcotics often make fibro pain worse. Well, I'm here to tell you that in my body - IT HURTS without the narcotics, it actually hurts worse, especially in my hip and neck. I already take Alleve and Extra Strenth Tylenol, but that just doesn't cut it. I'm hoping that next week I will get more answers. Please keep me and my family in your prayers. Hugs, Shellie
I am still in a cast and unable to walk, so I was unable to leave the ship and go on a small boat (tender) to reach the mainland. It was ok, time alone, time to reflect and time to try and organize some of 3000 photos on my laptop.
I never left the ship until it was time to disembark, we played scattegories (and won), and I took 2 classes on scrapbooking. We also played visual trivia, which was fun. It was also nice to be away from constant cell phone calls. We left Yakima for Seattle, Monday September 28. The celebrity Mercury left port at 5:00 p.m. We got over 20 phone calls from the kids before we left shore! Which made the beginning of our trip uneasy at the least. I was worried sick....
The two weeks prior to our cruise, my oldest son got his first speeding ticket. My neice who offered to watch my mom's house and my two girls came down with the swine flu a week prior to departure. My youngest daughter was having major anxiety over me leaving and 2nd oldest daughter watched Titanic for the first time and got hysterical that we would even think about going on a ship. So, I spent a lot of the week before the trip putting out fires and calming kids down. God was definately with us, and everything was smooth sailing. I'd love to go on another cruise, but I'm not sure how to swing the cost with 5 kids. That will be another obstacle to overcome - finances...especially with unsurmountable medical bills.
Right before we were to leave on our cruise, I got a letter from my general practicioner and his office stating that he was no longer going to practice medicine at that facility and that my family had been put into a lottery, and another care giver had been assigned to us. I was in shock and disbelief! The Monday, prior to the letter, I had been to see my GP to fix my cast which had broken underneath my toes and provided no support for my poor little toes. After reading his letter, it sounded like it was a last minute decision. Still I was in shock and awe. Shocked because I trust him so much, he has been with me through all of my medical issues and complications. It is so hard to find someone whom you can trust in the medical field. Doctors are under the thumb of HMO's and the government and they work way too hard with their hands tied, so that they can't always treat patients the "best way" but the best way for the insurance companies. I admire his moral values, and the fact that he is standing up for himself and his patients rather than folding under the pressure of others. He is going to work out in the community and do some house calls, to help the needy. That is awesome! He is also working on a website, so that people can contact him with questions. You can bet, I've been bombarding him with questions; and I also get answers! Which is even better!
Unfortunately, even though I can talk to him, the state has not given him a new license so that he can prescribe medications. I got back from my cruise and had only 2 pain pills left. Since my doc had left, I couldn't ask him, I called our "new doctor" whom never returned my phone call, and I couldn't call my foot doctor in Seattle since he is on vacation. MY GP suggested I go to the ER, but I am really leary about that. They treat me like a drug seeker and I DON'T appreciate that. They don't know my medical history and if they did, then maybe they would be a little more compassionate. So, I have been off of my pain medication for almost a week now. I HATE withdrawel symptoms! I'm cold, irritable, tired, and anxious. The worst should be over, but who knows what is around the next bend.
It is horrible to be feeling anxious, skin crawling, irritable (from withdrawel) AND to have pain on top of it is just not my idea of fun. I have fibromyalgia in addition to many other issues, and was told that narcotics often make fibro pain worse. Well, I'm here to tell you that in my body - IT HURTS without the narcotics, it actually hurts worse, especially in my hip and neck. I already take Alleve and Extra Strenth Tylenol, but that just doesn't cut it. I'm hoping that next week I will get more answers. Please keep me and my family in your prayers. Hugs, Shellie
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