The Tween Years

My oh my, but kids today have so much DRAMA in their lives. I have 5 kids, who are all in the throes of puberty in one way or another. I have two drama queens, that just rotate their little drama scenes. One minute one is crying and as soon as she stops the other one starts. Everyday is something dramatic that is just ruining their lives. Usually it has something to do with us, parents, who expect them to do some chores and help out around the house. We are the worst parents in the world (according to them) because we yell at them if they don't help out. Yelling is NOT our first reaction, it is just the final straw! OMG, they think they have it so rough when we ask them to do one chore! It's getting infuriating. Last night one of them was just screaming and crying because she wouldn't help clean up the kitchen counter and she kept fighting with her sister. They fought and fought and we warned them to stop, and they kept on and on. Finally we told them to be quiet and sit down to write 10 nice things about one another. This just caused more chaos, and they would say that there was NOTHING nice about the other person, so we added more sentences because they would not STOP complaining and crying and screaming at us.
We asked one to quit crying and she said she WOULD NOT quit until the police came to take us away because we were so mean! That was it, I sat her down and read this poem, I received on the internet the other day, it was PERFECT in this situation...enjoy!

Poem to MOM

My son came home from school one day,
With a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough,
To put me in my place..

'Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that's taught by Mr. Wright?
It's all about the laws today,
The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'

It says I need not clean my room,
Don't have to cut my hair
No one can tell me what to think,
Or speak, or what to wear.

I have freedom from religion,
And regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head,
And I sure don't have to pray.

I can wear earrings if I want,
And pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
Get tattoos from head to toe.

And if you ever spank me,
I'll charge you with a crime.
I'll back up all my charges,
With the marks on my behind.

Don't you ever touch me,
My body's only for my use,
Not for your hugs and kisses,
that's just more child abuse.

Don't preach about your morals,
Like your Mama did to you.
That's nothing more than mind control,
And it's illegal too!

Mom, I have these children's rights,
So you can't influence me,
Or I'll call Children's Services Division,
Better known as C.S.D.'



Mom's Reply and Thoughts

Of course my first instinct was
To toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach him a lesson
Made me think a little more.

I mulled it over carefully,
I couldn't let this go.
A smile crept upon my face,
he's messing with a pro.

Next day I took him shopping
At the local Goodwill Store.
I told him, 'Pick out all you want,
there's shirts & pants galore..

I've called and checked with C.S.D ...
Who said they didn't care
If I bought you K-Mart shoes
Instead of those Nike Airs.

I've canceled that appointment
To take your driver's test.
The C..S.D. Is unconcerned
So I'll decide what's best. '

I said 'No time to stop and eat,
Or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn
To make your own sack lunch.

Just save the raging appetite,
And wait till dinner time.
We're having liver and onions,
A favorite dish of mine.'

He asked 'Can I please rent a movie,
To watch on my VCR?'
'Sorry, but I sold your TV,
For new tires on my car.
I also rented out your room,
You'll take the couch instead.
The C .S.D.. Requires
Just a roof over your head.

Your clothing won't be trendy now,
I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get,
Will buy me something neat.

I'm selling off your jet ski,
Dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights',
It's in effect today!

Hey hot shot, are you crying,
Why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out,
Instead of C.S.D..?'

MOM (Mean Old Mother)



Isn't that wonderful? Unfortunately, my dd who is brilliant, is incapable of understanding anything when she is hysterical. She just looked at me and said I don't get it! While the other daughter said, WOW, that was interesting. The one that got it, wrote her sentences quietly, while the other one just expressed how mean we were, and that she hated her life and wanted to be an only child. Then she said that the only way that could happen is if we killed all her brother and sisters! Luckily, in her delirious state she also said, then you would go to jail and no one could take care of me, so I guess that won't happen! Oh, snap, she was finally able to reason, while under duress! It was a miracle! My kids are very smart, sometimes too smart for their own good. It is so frustrating when she gets upset because she brings up everything and the kitchen sink and does not understand that her own behavior is causing the problem. She believes that there is nothing wrong with telling her parents NO! Well, we are determined to change that! It's been 8 hours since the incident and she still won't write her sentences. DH who was FURIOUS with her, said, "Hey, don't worry about it, remember the poem you read to her? She may think she has won this battle, but WE WILL WIN THIS WAR! Just wait until Halloween, she does not have to TRICK OR TREAT!" He's right! I am so glad that I'm not a single parent, and have support at home. The way I feel, I need all the support I can get, when dealing with the kids. I know that I would not be able to do anything without the constant love and support from GOD and my wonderful husband!


Soo, that's how my day ended, but this is how it began...


My son came home from school and said that he was freaking out because of something he said to his girl friend. She said all was good, but he felt bad and started freaking out (his words). I asked him if he needed a hug, and he did, so I scooted over in the bed and let him sit down. Then I gave him a hug and he started to cry.

Mind you, I have been ruing this day for several months. He fell in love, hard for this adorable girl. A year ago, his best friend and our brother from another mother, went out with her. It was a short relationship, they met online playing World of Warcraft. No big deal, they went to different schools and lived in separate towns and did not see each other much so they broke up. A few months later, my son started to bring her over, go to lunch with her and spend more time with her. I asked him if they were going out and he denied it,saying they were just friends. The months wore on and I noticed she was getting more flirtatious with him. A couple of months later he admitted that they were finally a couple. Woo Hoo! Touchdown, he was so happy, and I have seen him hurt by a couple of other girls and he was devastated by it. I prayed that the day when they broke up would not come, knowing that it would eventually. The strange thing is, that they still see each other. He takes her to school, out to lunch, does her math homework..."There are hearts breaking all over the world tonight because that man is 100% in love with her," (quote from Top Gun). She is supposedly seeing some new guy who is a friend of her cousin, but he lives in Seattle and she has only seen him once. How serious could this new relationship be? Something seems a little bit off.

Yesterday I posted the song Unanswered Prayers on my facebook page. I wrote a little blurb about how this song really helped me through a difficult time in my life. You pray and hope and wish for one outcome, only it never comes to pass. Growing older and wiser, you eventually realize the bigger picture and how that one outcome may have changed your life forever. I believe that we all have a path chosen for us and eventually we will get there, but because of free choice and all, it may take us our entire life to reach that final destination. I shared this video with my son, and I'm not sure if he took it to heart or not. I also told him my own experiences with the loss of someone you love. Many moons ago I was head over heels for this one guy, we went out for a long time and I knew we were soul mates, destined to be together, but we broke up and I was devastated. I was so angry, immature and hurt that the night we broke up I called this older guy who had a crush on me. I went out with him the next day. Dumb, dumb, dumb, I was trying to make myself feel better since I was rejected. This did not work. Wherever we went together it reminded me of my first love and it just upset me even more. We eventually broke up too, and I immersed myself in college and eventually met another guy. A few months later, my first love came back to me and I turned him down. To this day I don't know what I was thinking. I do know that now, I'm married to another man, not my FIRST love, but another love and my life is totally different then I ever expected it to be. I have 5 wonderful kids and a husband who supports me in whatever I do and encourages me through these trying times. I would not change a thing, if I had gotten back together with my first love I would not have had these children. It's weird, when I get really upset, sometimes I dream of my first love, there is a bond there, and there always will be. I still talk to him occasionally and exchange Christmas cards with his parents each year, but it is just cordial, keeping in touch, nothing more...but I digress, lost in reminiscion...

I tried to explain to my son that I knew he was destined for greatness and that this one event could change his life forever. It was up to him, which path to go on. I tried to reason with him, that if he quit seeing her, even though it would hurt him, it might make her appreciate and miss him, and maybe she would come back to him. I reminded him of the ol' saying, "If you love something set it free..." I don't know if he listened to me, or just heard me, but I did my best to comfort and console him. The video of unanswered prayers was done to the video game Final Fantasy, he is a huge gamer and plays World of Warcraft all the time. So, when I shared Garth Brooks video, it reminded him of some WOW videos. We spent the next hour amazed and laughing at some of the videos people had made. One was a WOW version of Abbot and Costello's Who's on First routine, it was hysterical. As time passed, his tears dried and I told him that the best thing he could do was to keep busy and hang out with his friends. When you are busy, you don't have time to dwell on your problems. He has a WOW tournament today, that will keep him busy, and he also has a DR appointment, so he will keep busy. Earlier this week he told me that he wanted to see the DR because he was feeling so depressed, so I made him an appointment. I thank GOD that my son and his friends feel comfortable enough with me, to share there most intimate concerns and feelings. We have a couple of his friends stay over at least 3-4 nights each week. The kids are messy, but they are here, where I can keep an eye on them, and they are comfortable here. I am also thankful that I'm not on pain medicine anymore, and can pay more attention to what is going on with the kids. My husband is the player, and takes the kids on outdoor adventures (I don't like the outdoors except at the beach), but I do the indoor adventures. We make a good team, him and I.

Thanks for reading this post, I hope it gave you a little hope and/or inspiration today. Please check back again, to continue with the total action drama at our very, very, very nice house! Shellie out....