I have survived!

Ok, I don't feel good physically, but mentally I feel like a champion again! This fibromyalgia is really kicking me in the butt! Since I'm not on pain meds anymore, I feel absolutely every ache and pain. A very good friend told me that with fibromyalgia, you should plan on doing half of what you used to do and EXPECT to accomplish only half of that. That would be only 1/4 of what you are used to. While on pain medicine, it is easy to push myself a little more. I did that, just trying to do what I used to. I remember a time when people thought of me as a superwoman! I was teaching full time, I had five kids all under the age of 10, we took them to sports, and I got my master's degree! I once, started a tutoring program, while teaching full time and raising 5 kids! Now, I do nothing, in comparison, EXCEPT...


people say, "You look really good." So, I guess my appearance has improved since I've started having health issues! I've always said, "It's better to look good, than to feel good..." quoting an old Saturday Night Live Character, so at least that is continuing to be true.

Anyway, I still haven't slept more than 6 hours since I quit taking pain medicine. For the past three days, everything I eat goes right through me. So, I'm getting physically drained, and when I get up, just walking a short distance leaves me sweaty and breathless. I need to rest for almost an hour just after going to the bathroom. So I'm not feeling like myself and....I have 2 slumber/birthday parties to give this weekend! My youngest daughters are the same age for 2 weeks every year. We always start, middle October, down a slippery slope of parties and holidays until the culmination of my niece's birthday and mine on the same day. We have a birthday on October 15th, 16th, October 26th, November 6th, December 25th and finally on January 2nd. In between are Halloween, Thanksgiving and of course Christmas. We also have a tradition of making gingerbread houses once school is out for winter break. So this week, I've been slowly climbing up a big, long slide and sitting at the top, ready to go down. That's my concern, the ups and downs I'm expecting during the next 3 months. If I were to pick a movie to represent my life, it would be Parenthood with Steve Martin, Keanu Reeves and many others. The final scenes of the movie show him, comparing his life with a roller coaster, the many ups and downs and thrills of the drops and twists leaving you a little sick and breathless. THAT IS MY LIFE! It's an adventure every day, but I would not change anything (except my health issues). I'm feeling lousy, and now I need to put on my game face and prepare for these parties.

In the past, I've always gone all out for parties. I make the cake, goody bags, decorate, plan games and activities...it takes a lot of time and energy. I'm not working, haven't since 2005, and am desperately waiting to get a hearing so that I can recieve social security disability, so having no money does not help when you have parties to give. The odds are stacked against me, but I show confidence in the face of adversity and trudge on with the spirit of the Gladiator!

I can honestly say that the kids have really learned several life skills, as I am able to do less and less, they get older and can do more for the family (they don't always do it, but they are capable of doing it). My youngest daughter, whose birthday is on the 16th, pretty much planned her entire party! In September, my second son had his birthday party. I handmade his invitations, and while I was stamping them, my youngest decided to make her invitations too. Her party was 2 months away, but she planned it all that night. She made invitations, drew a picture of what she wanted her cake to look like, planned games...I taught her well, she was only 9! I was very proud! So, my main job was to clean up the house and make the cakes. She made a list of what she needed for the party and I gave it to my Husband. A new Wal Mart Supercenter opened up the same week, just a mile from our house! My wonderful husband came home early Thursday, to facilitate the cleaning of the basement for the weekend. So I trusted him to do the downstairs, while I prepared the upstairs.

Unfortunately, when he cleaned downstairs, he brought about 6 loads of laundry upstairs. I always have at least 5 loads a day to do, and it's been taking me longer to do laundry since it's so hard to move, so things were getting daunting. I had the kitchen, bathrooms laundry and living room to clean before 2 slumber parties. I had to do as much as I could, and the kids were going to have to pick up the slack. By the grace of God, we got everything done before the party (except the laundry). The laundry was pushed into my room all over the floor, creating a lumpy terrain that was hazardous to my health, with a broken foot on the left and now, my kneecap popping out on my right leg (read about this fun in my next post). I spent most of the weekend out in the living room just for my own safety.

By the end of the weekend, we had 9 kids sleep over on Friday night, paint pumpkins, swak a pinata, bob for apples, play Apples to Apples, and watch Titanic (which they had been studying about in school). I made 1 ice cream cake, 1 white cake and 24 chocolate cupcakes. I did about 6 loads of laundry (see what I mean, I'm WAY behind). On Saturday we had 4 more kids go roller skating for 4 hours, spend the night, play Truth or Dare, jam out on Rock Band and play foosball. The best part of all was that I finally fell asleep! Over a week of insomnia slowly slipped away as I finally drifted off into 3 hours of peaceful slumber. God is so good! I have survived to live another day and continue on this roller coaster of adventure...